Jealousy Between Brothers: The King Of The House Is No Longer Alone

The arrival of a new baby brother always changes the usual rhythm of family life. It is important to know that jealousy between siblings, and especially the jealousy that the older sibling feels towards the younger one, is a natural and normal feeling that should not initially worry the parents.

During the phase of discovering others, the acceptance process takes place. At this point,  the child needs to integrate the different roles of family members, fundamentally the parents, but also other possible components that will be added over time.

Why does jealousy between siblings happen?

Fraternal jealousy arises when the emotional and affective bond that until then united a child with his parents is threatened by the arrival of a stranger, who needs more attention and more care. Furthermore, when children are young they are not aware of what is happening and, in many cases, they are not able to control this feeling.

Jealousy between siblings appears spontaneously . It is necessary that parents treat the child naturally, without protecting excessively, but also without neglecting to pay attention to him, thinking that he will be able to overcome this moment alone, so that jealousy does not lead to more serious problems.

Peeing your pants, not eating alone, asking for the pacifier or bottle back, or wanting to spend as much time as possible with your parents are some of the characteristic behaviors that jealousy among siblings provokes.

“I was here before”

The child realizes that the time that parents used to devote exclusively to him, has now been reduced. The way in which the child tries to get it back is with constant calls for attention. At this stage, it is common for children to return to practice aggressive behaviors that have already been overcome and that will soon disappear.

For this it is advisable to take into account the following recommendations:

• Do not correct children’s calls for attention. The child must realize alone that this attitude does not make the situation go back to the way it was before. The sooner she understands that behaving like an older child has more advantages than behaving like a baby, the sooner she’ll stop behaving like that.

• It is positive to take time to talk and play with the oldest child,  as we did before. As far as possible, parents should spend time alone with their eldest child every day. That way he’ll understand that he’s still important to them too.

• Recognize the things he does correctly,  to encourage the continuation of these practices. A child’s self-esteem will increase if he perceives that his good qualities please his parents. For this, it is necessary to avoid comparisons of any kind with the younger brother.

The new brother is here to stay

It is important to show the same affection and affection for your children, so that the firstborn knows that, although the baby needs more dedication, he may enjoy other concessions and permissions because he is older.

The child can participate in the baby’s care: getting a pacifier or diapers, or helping to rock the baby, is one way to make the older child feel useful. The child will feel that he is needed for everything to work well in the house. In addition, it is important to let the child show his affection for the newcomer. She may want to hug her brother, or show her classmates what’s new at home.

It’s time to learn to share

Not just the weather, but also the toys and everything that goes with the house . The sense of ownership will now increase even more. It is time, then, to explain with affection that everything that surrounds the child does not belong exclusively to him, and that his new little brother has the same rights and conditions. Learning this at home will also help to know how to share and get along with other colleagues, especially at school.

Rest assured that not all the changes that this new situation brings are negative for your child. Before long, the two will become inseparable. You can patiently explain to your eldest child that soon your little brother will grow up and they will be able to play together. The younger brother will definitely become your new best friend.