All Those Wonderful Moments Alone With The Baby
There are many hours that a mother shares with her child. These are moments of delicate intimacy, in which a network of emotions, feelings and bonds are traced that have a direct impact on a child’s development. At the same time, Mom’s own personal universe changes as well.
Motherhood involves many things. One is to leave behind the autonomy and freedom that we had before. Simply come and go. Meet friends, go out with your partner. Somehow, we always had some control over when to enjoy each moment alone and when to socialize, when to share time and experiences with whomever we wanted.
Now, solitude is a shared space. In fact, it will be for a long time. It will be two in one body much longer than 9 months. This baby will be with you in order to survive, to grow in happiness and safety.
You’ll wake up at dawn and look out the window at the city. Everyone sleeps while you embrace such a special creature in your arms. These are wonderful, magical moments of stillness. Moments when silence surrounds them. That’s when you realize how things have changed in your life.
Loneliness is no longer frightening because now there is this little life accompanying you and transforming you into a much stronger person.
These wonderful times with you is the most important thing for your baby
It’s curious how in recent years the baby-related field of study is adding new sciences beyond medicine or pediatrics. Nowadays, in the specialized bibliography on motherhood, many references to anthropology can also be seen.
And what does anthropology have to do with what is best for our children? In many cases, this science forces us to reflect on the human being from a point of view not only cultural, but also biological and as a result of an evolution.
From the perspective of neuroscience and psychology, currents such as that of the anthropologist James McKenna remind us that the baby is a mammal and, like every creature that has just entered the world, it only needs one thing: the proximity of its mother.
The baby only knows how to sleep in your arms
One thing that many mothers and fathers complain about is the fact that the baby is unable to sleep alone in the crib. He can only fall asleep when we rock him in our arms or when he sleeps with us in bed.
Far from seeing this as abnormal, anthropology also strongly reinforces remembering one thing: the baby is governed by an instinct for survival. Being away from the mother’s skin is almost like a threat. He feels scared and feels vulnerable.
It’s a natural process. Little by little, your nervous system and your brain will establish new connections and will mature to end these fears and calm the instinct. There will come a day when he will prefer his own bed, when he will no longer need our close presence.
Until that happens, the best medicine is love and patience.
You don’t mind giving up your privacy, your independence
Maybe someone tells you that you’re spoiling your child. That sleeping with him in bed will promote an insecure child, that attending to all his cries will make him a dependent person… They will say that and much more. However, you should consider some of these questions:
- Science has raised some misconceptions about creation. Remember, for example, the great value many placed on the Estivill method until recently.
- A mother or father must trust their instincts. They will consult any doubts with the pediatrician, for sure. However, no one has the right to judge us by the way we raise our children.
We love sharing these wonderful moments alone with our little ones. Feeling their breath, calming their crying with a hug, letting them last in our chest… The hours and time no longer matter. Only our son matters.
These wonderful moments alone are part of a time that passes quickly. So enjoy!
Like it or not, there will come a time when this magical intimacy will be in the past. After the first steps and the first words come the years of curiosity, of wanting to touch everything. And almost without us knowing how, surely one day our little one will escape from the arms to run and play with friends, to discover the world and grow until he is taller than you.
Children grow up fast. But the moments remain
. So don’t hesitate to enjoy every second, every sigh and feeling of the wonderful moments shared alone with your baby. All those days leave marks: footprints on your heart and pillars of safety, affection and trust in your children’s hearts so that they grow up happy and healthy.
