Is It True That Children Always Tell The Truth?
We’ve all heard the saying: “children always tell the truth”. We all laugh at a child’s spontaneous comments when they occur at the wrong time. And, in a way, this saying was registered in our minds as something unquestionable. But is it really true?
children tell the truth
The reality is that children are characterized by their great spontaneity. They are still innocent and naive beings who express themselves openly.
When they are still young, children verbalize their thoughts clearly, simply and directly. They don’t stop to think about how their words will affect the person who hears them.
This naturalness is something that arouses tenderness in adults and is amusing most of the time. And it’s probably the basis of the aforementioned popular saying. The little ones express themselves without fear and without the filter of morality.
This is especially true in your early years of life. Until approximately 4 years of age, children have not yet developed empathy. Without this role, they are unable to put themselves in the other person’s shoes and are guided only by the achievement of their own goals or by the spontaneity mentioned above.
Children also tell lies, they don’t always tell the truth
But if we stop to think for a moment, we can easily see that children lie too, and they do from an early age.
Despite their innocence, little ones lie for different reasons, depending on their age and stage of development.
Thus, in preschool, children often lie because of their difficulties in distinguishing reality from fantasy. It is common for their narratives to mix real situations with fictional elements.
They can also lie because they want something or because they want to avoid it. For example, a child may lie to receive a reward he wants or not to disappoint his parents.
They can also do this to hide their problems or get attention. In any case, children usually do not harm others on purpose. That’s not their intention when they lie.
On the other hand, they are able to detect their parents’ lies through their gestures or expressions, and perceive this lie as a betrayal. We must then be careful to convey information to our children in a manner commensurate with their understanding, but without the need to lie.
How to promote balanced sincerity
While a child’s naive sincerity is charming, it can also sometimes lead to an uncomfortable situation and even hurt someone’s feelings.
Having the empathy and diplomacy necessary to interact with other people is, without a doubt, an important value that we must transmit to the little ones in the best possible way.
Naturally, as children grow and develop cognitively and emotionally, this raw sincerity is transformed. They are able to take the other person’s feelings into account and soften or omit some of their expressions so as not to hurt. In short: they strike a balance between sincerity and tact.
What can we do as parents?
- Do not reprimand the child severely if we catch him in a lie. We can explain that we shouldn’t count the things that happen at home or that it is necessary to think before expressing something.
- Act as a role model. As we said before, children are capable of noticing their parents’ lies, and this creates confusion. As we all know, children do what they see and not what they are told. So, we should use the modeling technique to teach them to express their thoughts with courage, sincerity and kindness.
- Use positive reinforcement whenever they emit desirable behaviors or expressions. Let them know through praise or social reinforcement that this behavior is appropriate. That way, this behavior will be sealed in their minds, and it will be more likely to be reissued in the future.
- Show children the natural consequences of their actions, rather than artificially punishing them. This has a much more beneficial impact in explaining that the behavior can hurt a person they love dearly than punishing them without letting them watch television.
