Listening To Your Child Is As Important As Hugging Him

Many parents complain that their children don’t talk to them. However, experts believe that this phenomenon is not just a child’s personality, sometimes it is a parent’s mistake.

In most cases, children stop talking to their parents by choice.

It is normal that there are children who are less communicative than others. But sometimes we are the ones who provoke this situation. Why are we responsible for not talking to us? Because we don’t always know how to listen.

As adults, we know how to identify when someone doesn’t pay attention to us or doesn’t seem interested in what we say. We may mistakenly believe that children don’t notice.

The importance of effective communication with children starts from before birth. It is believed that the fetus can recognize the mother’s voice. That’s why we should talk to our children even in our belly. From pregnancy, it is also important to listen. But we don’t always know how to do this.

According to experts, knowing how to listen to our children is as important as giving affection. From our adult perspective, we can recognize the importance of having someone to listen to us. A child feels the same way. Feeling heard is being able to trust that person. The confidence that the little one needs to be able to talk, he gets from those who listen to him.

learn to listen to your child

We demonstrate love through many different actions. Maybe we don’t realize that knowing how to listen is one of them, but when we love, it’s not difficult to fulfill. Our children’s first words seem to be very important. But, over time, we stopped listening to them carefully.

It is possible that we are causing the distance, even unconsciously. It is not just the affection that we transmit with this action, but we also need to know about them. It is essential that we know their tastes, if they are having any problems or if they are feeling bad. Therefore, knowing how to listen to children is not something superficial or merely corny.

Below, we will show you some topics developed by psychologists to learn to listen to children.

Examine your conscience and accept the truth

The first one that experts advise us is to do a self-examination of conscience. We don’t have to publicly disclose the results, but it’s important to reflect. Are we really listening to children carefully or just out of obligation? Do we have time and do we show interest in what they tell us?

It’s typical to put it as an excuse that we’re busy: “You tell me later, now I’m busy.” Maybe what the child is going to tell us can wait, but it’s important to him that you listen. Without realizing it, we may be doing this on a regular basis. Therefore, the child begins to think that trying to talk to his parents is a wasted effort.

do not force to speak

In order for the child to speak, you must gain their trust, they must want to talk themselves. Don’t expect her to tell you her stuff out of obligation, much less pressure her to do so. Give her time to tell you, but gently. No ultimatum or blunt demands. Nobody responds adequately when they feel threatened.

Try not to interrupt

Remember that it is not easy for children to find the right words to express themselves. So it ‘s important to wait until they finish talking before asking them something or making comments.

Although we have an idea what it is, it is preferable that she say it herself. In addition to being a good communication exercise, it’s one of the keys to learning to listen.

practice active listening

The active listening method proposes a series of steps to improve our communication with children. This method is to show a real interest in what they say, stay at the same height, look her in the eye, and really talk.

To do this, we need to let them know that we’ve heard them, not just nodding our heads, but answering their questions and asking ours.

avoid judging

Most of the time, we look for people to listen just because we want to talk. We are not waiting for advice, let alone a judgment. Although we are not in agreement with what she tells us she has done, it is wise to wait until it is over and try not to judge her immediately.

Sometimes there are things that need to be fixed quickly, but others are not as serious and can wait. The more we judge children by everything they say, the less they will want to talk to us.

Take time just to listen

Try to find a time between your duties to talk to your children. A distraction-free time with no washing machines, television or cell phones in between.

It should be an opportune time to ask how school was, about friends and other questions that allow us to get to know you better.