Extinction As A Technique To Eliminate Behavior – I’m A Mom
Every child (and every family) is different from the others. Not all children have the same personality, and not all family dynamics are the same. It is the parents who must choose, among all the techniques and strategies available, those with which they most identify. Today we are going to talk about one of them: extinction.
Education aims to guide children so that they learn to deal with frustration and select useful behaviors to deal with the environment.
However, sometimes children have inappropriate behaviors that cause problems in personal, social, family and school terms. Children who disobey, insult or challenge us constantly.
Our role in this situation will help them replace these conflicting attitudes healthier attitudes and appropriate. But this must always be done through respect and affection, thus avoiding violence and punishment. After all, we must keep in mind that the little ones are still learning to live.
The importance of attention
One of the techniques that can help us most in this process is extinction. It starts from the idea that any repetitive behavior occurs because it is being reinforced in some way. The goal, therefore, will be to eliminate the reinforcers that reward and maintain conflicting behavior.
It may not be easy to see how we are rewarding this negative attitude. Of course, when this behavior appears, we reprimand the child or punish him in some way. What we’re not realizing is that parenting is one of the greatest reinforcers there is for a child.
Adults tend to pay more attention to children’s transgressions and misbehavior, as they are what bothers and displeases. In this way, good behavior ends up being ignored. The child then understands that the way to get attention is to misbehave.
How to apply extinction
Extinction proposes, precisely, to divert attention from the behaviors we want to eliminate. Don’t respond to them, don’t scold them, but ignore them completely.
This technique should always be accompanied by positive reinforcement of any other appropriate behavior the child has, otherwise the child may feel ignored.
It is not a question of punishment or revenge. Let’s not divert attention with a scowl because we’re angry. Let’s simply focus our attention on positive and desirable behaviors. Let’s help, through affection, to replace one attitude with another.
If, for example, a child is having a tantrum because we have turned off the television, we will not argue with him or scold him for crying. Let’s ignore this unwanted behavior and try to redirect the child by offering a board game to play along with.
However, if the tantrum continues, we should explain, calmly and affectionately, that we won’t pay attention as long as she continues to cry and scream. That we will be happy to talk and play with her when she calms down and talks properly.
Once the child is able to calm down and speak to us in a normal tone, we should welcome him with a smile and then reward him with our full attention and affection.
Tips to remember
- The child must know the conditions from the beginning. It is very important to clearly explain that it is necessary to talk and ask for things calmly and politely. And that we won’t help you while you’re doing this crying or screaming.
- It is essential to be constant and consistent in applying this technique. If we sometimes ignore the behavior but sometimes comply, we are giving intermittent reinforcement that will only make the situation worse. It is necessary to be firm and thus always ignore the negative attitude and reward the positive one.
- This procedure, while really effective, takes time. Therefore, we cannot use it for behaviors that need to be eliminated immediately. For example, if the child is going to put his fingers in a socket, we cannot ignore it, we must act.
- Keep in mind that when this technique starts to be applied, there is usually a temporary increase in unwanted behavior. This is normal and we must remain firm until the child understands the new family functioning, thus abandoning the bad behavior.
